I have to be completely honest and admit that sometimes I’m not thrilled about God’s will in my life. There have been many times when I’ve wondered, “Are you kidding me?”
Many moments stand in stark relief.
The first time my husband got laid off. The economy was terrible and we knew it would take a while to get a new job. It was a very long year as we humbly hung in there and prayed. And as the time marched on, we finally found ourselves meekly accepting, “Thy will be done.”
Finding out I had breast cancer—while I was serving as a women’s group president at church, serving as a regional coordinator for Proposition 8 in California and running for reelection to my City Council position. I was more stunned over the timing of it all, “Really? Now?” After many surgeries, chemo, radiation, and many more surgeries, I bowed my head. “Thy will be done.”
Having a son reject our faith and beliefs and struggle through many years of poor choices. I realized that there wouldn’t be a quick fix but that God was aware of and dearly loved my son. After many years, I prayed, “Thy will be done.”
I have kind of felt guilty about having struggles with His will. Until recently.
I was reading the book of Mark telling of Christ suffering in the garden, ”And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.” (Mark 14:35-36)
And there it was. Christ Himself asked that the looming ordeal be taken away. He dreaded it. He knew it would be agonizing. He was willing to do what the Father had asked of Him. But He did ask for a miracle—to have the burden removed.
How many times have we prayed, “Father, thou art all-powerful. All things are possible unto thee. Please, oh, please take this burden away.”?
But then we face the choice. Will we fight against His will? Will we refuse to accept it? Will we be bitter and angry and frustrated?
Or will we accept it? Will we trust Him?
Amazing things happen when we align our will with God’s will. Peace comes.
Love comes. Hope comes.
It isn’t easy. Often the burden is not removed. Often we are called upon to wade through deep waters. But we do not do it alone.
And I know that Heavenly Father is watching over us saying, “Trust me. It will all work out. There are things for you to learn and experience, my child. This is the best way. I have a greater plan for you than you could ever imagine.”
And as we continue to match our will to His, we walk His path for us. And sometimes, we look back and say, “Ah, I see now why you picked this path for me.” And sometimes we look forward and exclaim, “Oh, so that’s where you wanted me to go! That’s wonderful!” And sometimes we just keep plodding along—trusting that He loves us and will lead us on.
And like Jesus, we can affirm, “Nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.”