merrilee Boyack

I have major scars on my body. And it’s kind of weird.

For almost my whole life my biggest scar was about ½ inch on my thumb where I got carried away carving a pumpkin.

But then my whole world was turned upside down with breast cancer. And the major scars began—radical mastectomy, remodeling the entire front of my body with a long scar hip to hip and a circular scar up north—and the landscape of my body was forever changed.

There are days when I look in the mirror and I think, “What in the world happened?? How did I end up being carved up and scarred? I sure don’t look like I used to.” And I grieve and mourn the loss of who I once was.

Then there are days when I look in the mirror and I see a miracle, “I’m ALIVE! What a miracle! And look, they were able to rebuild me pretty well. And now I’m healed up and I’m ALIVE!”

I find that we all have scars on our hearts and spirits as well. It might be from sins or mistakes; it might be from things we have suffered from others; it might be those things we experience just because we’re imperfect, mortal beings. We all have scars.

So we can sit and think about them and have them be raw and red in our hearts. We can grieve and mourn our losses.

Or we can focus on the healing and the Healer and miracles. We are HEALED. We have SURVIVED. He has healed us and made us a new person. Rebuilt, reborn.

I know that He has healed me – both inside and out. And every day, I seek new healing at the hands of the Master. And I am grateful for the gifts He gives me.

Someday, I shall have a glorified, resurrected body completely free from scars. And I shall have a spirit that has been completely healed as well. I await that glorious day.

But for now, I am grateful for lessons learned, miracles received, and that the Healer is there for me every bump, scrape and bruise along the path.

Merrilee Boyack
Mom of 4, grandma of 2, attorney, author, speaker, and very gifted eater of food cooked by others.
Merrilee Boyack

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