“So that your faith might not rest on human wisdom but on God’s power.”
1 Corinthians 2:5
In my early 20’s, I always felt the desire and need to go to church so I would find something close and show up on Sundays. I felt I had a relationship with Jesus. I mean, I believed the bible and tried to follow as many “rules” as I could because I knew it was truth.
When I went against scripture and sinned, I would simply rely on God’s grace, repent and then do it all over again the next week.
I felt that my faith was strong because I prayed a little and did my duty on Sunday. Brutally honest, right? I went through trials by lashing out, seeking counsel from friends unqualified to give it and then when the light at the end of the tunnel appeared, I would let out a big sigh of relief and journey on to the next big thing.
Until the big one hit.
The biggest trial I had faced and one that wasn’t showing the end of the tunnel, much less the light. I found myself in a place where Fear took up residence. It hovered over my morning and beckoned for me to give in. It reared its big head in the evening and would chase me in my dreams. I would confess out loud that I trusted God, partly to just reassure myself. Then one day, amid my chaotic circumstances, God gave me a verse and told me to hold tight to it. So, I put on my armor of God and started to fight my battle the righteous way. This was a pivotal moment in my faith.
My circumstances didn’t change for almost 2 years but my faith did. It became the one constant in the raging river of change. Nothing made sense in the flesh and I was questioned everywhere I turned. It seemed I was spending more time knocked down on the ground then standing. Forget two steps forward, three steps back, I was just trying to lift one little toe up and would still get thrown back ten steps. The fight was long and weary.
But God revealed that I wasn’t fighting to win my circumstances – I was fighting for my faith.
I was fighting so that he could teach me who HE was and not what was going on around me. It was my “Daniel moment”. God didn’t rescue me from my fire but he joined me in it. I’m reminded of Daniel 3:16-18 where Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego told the King that if they were thrown into the blazing furnace, the God they served was able to deliver them from it and would deliver them, but even if he didn’t, they still weren’t going to give in to the Kings request.
Having faith doesn’t come naturally. We want to see with our eyes, what we believe. We don’t want to have to go through something hard to see the reward. We don’t want to have to wait indefinitely to see the other side. And yet, that is what it takes to grow your faith. Being Intentional in our relationship with Jesus. Being purposeful in our habits (Studying God’s word). Being patient in our trials. And releasing the idea that we’re in control and recognizing that God is instead.
Do you believe that God is able? Because he IS. God joins us in the fire when our FAITH is BIGGER than our trial.
By Megan Wright