…and there is hope in thine end.
I’ll never forget the moment when my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. It was a spring day in Utah, so there was still snow on the ground, along the edges of the roads. We drove to the evaluation full of angst, sat through all of the questions and observations, watched our boy cooperate and throw fits. When we finally sat down with the clinician, he explained to us what all of his weird characteristics and behaviors meant.
It’s like someone was finally putting all of the pieces of the puzzle together for us, so instead of a big jumbled mess, we finally had a clearer picture of what was going on.
It’s hard to understand what you’re fighting when it doesn’t have a name, when you don’t understand what it is.
When he told us what was going on with Rowan, it was a mix of emotions. Grief, joy, relief, stress… in that short amount of time with the doctor, our world changed forever. In a lot of ways, I’m still coming to grips with the “forever” piece. Every now and then I forget that this is something that we will be living with for the rest of our lives.
But something else came that day, and it continues to grow in me every time we have a breakthrough in his behavior, any time I get an “I wuv you” from him at bedtime, when he’s friendly and playful with his little sister. I feel hope. I know that even though the days can get dark, even though Autism can seem cruel and harsh, there is hope. There is hope that tomorrow can be better than today. I know that no matter how alone I feel, that God is with me. I have hope that God can perform miracles, but even if Rowan isn’t healed, it doesn’t mean that He doesn’t love Rowan, or our family. I have hope, and I BELIEVE that Rowan is so much more than his challenges. I have a gorgeous, smart, funny, kind, gentle little boy who is loved by so many, and that gives me hope.
I believe that God is faithful, and that gives me hope more than anything.
Insight and Inspiration
“Who against hope believed in hope…”
“For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man teeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.”
If you’re an ordinary parent of a kid with special needs, or if you’re facing a challenge today that seems like it could swallow you whole, stand firm. Have hope. The God of the universe loves you so much, He will not leave you nor abandon you. He is with you, and you are not alone. There is much to be hopeful for.