“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
– Jeremiah 29:11
“Break my heart for what breaks yours” I bravely and maybe a little clueless asked God one day. “How do I shine your light on this dark world?”
Note of caution here… when you ask God something like that, be ready for him to rock your world.
Not much later I found myself horrified by something I saw on the news. I realize we should be horrified by a lot of stuff on the news, but this case was about a child and it devastated me.
Broke my heart.
As I told my husband about it I sobbed, “We have an empty room! There are kids being abused, kids living in shelters and we have an empty room”. And he said “well let’s do something about it.”
It’s not unlikely for us to talk about foster and adoption. From the beginning of our relationship we talked about having bio and adoptive kids. But then we had our first and she had lots of medical/special needs and that was overwhelming. Then we had our two “typical” kids and they had a whole different list of needs and we thought who has the time to take in someone else’s kid. A “damaged” kid. We don’t have the time or energy. We are so busy. How can I be stretched any thinner?
But not that day. God was breaking my heart and we knew we have the means, we have the room, and we have the love. We needed to do something. And that day our hearts overruled our brains and made the decision to foster and all those excuses we had weren’t enough to roadblock me from making the call and get started in the process of being foster parents.
A few months of classes, a home inspection and a home study, we were licensed and got a call asking us to take in a 9 month old baby boy the next day.
When we opened our front door (and our hearts) and baby A looked at me and gave me a gummy smile, I was done. He certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. I didn’t know what to expect, but I know it wasn’t him. He didn’t feel like someone else’s baby. He felt like mine. I knew the whole mentality I was telling myself that I won’t get too attached was being thrown out the window. I instantly knew this whole situation has the ability to absolutely crush me.
Crush all of us.
But we also know what we are doing isn’t for us.
That’s the thing. We signed up to help. To help keep kids safe while their parents get safe. We signed up to help parents who may not be bad people, just people who made bad choices. People who were never modeled how to be parents and never learned how to parent. Is it hard for us to not judge? Yes. I’d be lying if I said anything else. Do I understand how they get their children taken away? No. But that’s isn’t what God is asking us to do. And this is where we have to rely heavily on him and trust that he knows what is best. If it isn’t safe for baby A to go home then we pray that we get the opportunity to adopt him. But if his parents can learn and grow from their mistakes and become better people (better parents) from all this then we have to trust God that is where baby A should be, with his family. I can very often direct my prayers to what I want, but then remind myself, thy will be done, not Kim’s will be done.
BERLYThis journey has high peaks and deep valleys but we have to keep the course. We can’t bail in the valley knowing God has treasures everywhere along the way. We have a mountain peak to get to.
We have no idea what the peak looks like, but here we are, trusting him with our breakable hearts.
Thy will be done.
Insight and Inspiration
Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
Do you have a God given gift you are too shy to share? Do you think you don’t have anything to offer? Please know that is the furthest from the truth! God has given each of us something special that makes us unique and we are to use our gifts to serve the Lord. We are his hands and feet on the earth! He is the vine and we are the branches! How incredible is it to know that? How special to know that when he knitted me in my mother’s womb he knew I had something to offer this world that would bring glory to his name. Our gifts may seem small, but they aren’t. In God’s eyes they play perfectly in his plan. We are perfectly in his plan. Ask God where he sees you shining his light and be ready to have your world blessedly rocked!
Take some time to listen to
Lauren Daigle – Trust In You